How do I explain to my mother
that my life is my own to live?
That there is more to life than money
or an adhesive social status.
That I would rather be rich in personality
than by the numbers in my bank account.
That I don’t need a title before my name
to know that my name
will go down in history.
That I do not need to be loved by a man
to love others
or to love myself.
That writing isn’t a “hobby”
which I am prioritising over a “real job”.
It is my job.
To pen my thoughts onto paper,
so that I may speak.
To the world.
I often sit in bathtubs
filled with ice instead of bubbles.
I thought I wouldn’t bear
to sit in cold water –
but now I drown my head
beneath the surface
and numb my brain
from thoughts of you.
I wait until the ice
melts into water
against my warm skin
and I come back to surface
gasping for air.
2 Chicken Breasts.
1/4 bag of Penne.
1/4 bag of Peas.
1/4 red chilli pepper.
1. Heat up the leftover chicken broth on the stove. This is the “soup” basis.
(Chicken broth is water that a whole chicken has been previously boiled in. My chicken broth is always made up of a whole chicken (that has been cleaned out with cold water, salt, vinegar and a lemon) before being boiled into hot water with 1 whole onion and 5 cloves of garlic, with salt added. I use the chicken for roast and I store the broth in the fridge.)
2. Cut up your 2 chicken breasts and cook them onto a pan with some oil, salt and white pepper.
3. Cut up your vegetables (carrots, broccoli, courgettes and potatoes) into small cubes/pieces.
4. Bring the chopped vegetables to a medium heat over a dollop of butter and a drizzle of oil.
5. Similarly, take 1/4 bag of penne to a medium heat with some butter until they reach a soft golden brown.
6. Add the penne, vegetables and chicken breasts to the chicken broth soup.
7. Add the 1/4 bag of peas to the soup.
8. Chop the red chilli pepper into fine slices and add to the soup.
9. Let cook over the stove until the vegetables and pasta have fully cooked through.
10. Garnish/add lemon zest/salt/pepper to each bowl individually, according to your taste preference.
PLATE UP AND ENJOY!
You must learn to navigate
the waters in your life.
To sail the sea
and search for your own truth
and meaning of the world.
To take charge and captain your own ship
before the mutinies in your mind
decide to take over.
Some words can make all the sense in the world
and still not make a difference.
I could promise you all there is to give of love
and it still would not make you stay.
Some things are meant to be.
And some, simply, are not.
I know I can carry myself in extreme ways.
Running between hot and cold.
Swinging between highs and lows.
I know I can dive right in one minute
and get choked up the very next.
I know I am the very definition of myself
and at the same time, my complete polar opposite.
But you know me.
You know my heart.
And fuck you if you ever doubted it wasn’t in the right place.